How Did I Get to Be One Smart Mama

Listen, I'll let you in on a secret. I'm not really one smart mama. I'm actually one slightly disorganized, often sleep-deprived, sometimes emotional woman who drinks a lot of coffee. But sometimes people write me for advice via my other blog Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters. And it just felt like the right time to declare myself an advice columnist.

Oh, by the way, you can do that in my world--just declare yourself an advice columnist.

It also feels like there is a need for an advice column because as of late, there seems to be a lot of people who are having problems crop up that they don't want to talk about on their blog. Either they want to remain anonymous and a post would reveal too much about themselves. Or they know that the person they want to discuss is reading their blog. Things like that. So this felt like a good column to start.

But how is it different from other advice columns and why should you read mine or submit questions? Because I have an MFA in creative writing. So you know that it's at least going to be well-written. And I'm going to use that hard-earned MFA to draw in examples from literature, music, poetry, film, theater, art and famous quotations when giving you advice. Because isn't it good advice to live your life considering the eternal question: what would Jane Austen do?

This advice column is also different from any other that you've read even though mine can best be described as the Ethicist meets Carolyn Hax and has a love-child via IVF. First of all, you the reader is also the advice columnist. In my world, we all have good advice to pass along. Therefore, while I will post my feelings on the matter, I open up every post to your comments as well. It's like getting 20 advice columnists for the price of one. And not even the price of one because my column is free.

Though my life and heart are firmly ensconced in the infertility and pregnancy loss community, I will offer advice on a wide-range of topics from rude in-laws to husbands who never buy you flowers to how to get out of a baby shower. There is no problem or concern that is too bizarre or too off-topic. All letters will be posted anonymously and I reserve the right to edit them due to length or for clarity. I will post pretty much as often as I have a question, though I also reserve the right to make this more routine--like every other Monday. Subscribe with bloglines or a similar service if you're worried about missing a post.

And in reading this blog, please also weigh in with your own thoughts. Your own advice or the words you would use. And if you can, include your own references to song lyrics or art or literature. I ask that if you post advice, you refrain from mocking the writer or saying anything that would make the person feel like shit.

Oh...the title. Listen, I am one smart mama. And I don't mean "mama" in the mothering sense, though we did conceive twins via fertility treatments several years ago and we're trying for another child now. I mean "mama" in the sense of one who gives birth to ideas. Who will put an arm around you and give you a hug instead of mocking you or making you feel like crap about your concern. Who will hand you a cookie and a glass of milk if you're cycling or a huge French martini if you're not and say, "he does indeed sound like an ass." And I have to be smart if I have this many degrees...right?

So start sending your questions to thetowncriers@gmail.com and put One Smart Mama in the subject line. You'll get a form response back so you know that I have your message and then I'll get started thinking about your concern (and pester Josh if you need the male point of view). I'll post your anonymous letter and the answer here the moment I'm done.

Okay, any questions?