Thursday, June 28, 2007

Who Am I? I Mean, Who Are We?

Meet Jane, otherwise known as Melissa and otherwise known after that as the Stirrup Queen. I have no qualifications to be an advice columnist except that people often email me directly asking me what I think or thanking me for comments I leave on their blog. It seemed like the next logical step in life to declare myself an advice columnist and get to work making snazzy pictures in Microsoft Paint and giving out my opinion willy nilly. Anyway, I've made myself an advice columnist so here it is. Read my advice and judge for yourself. If you think I give terrible advice, stop reading. If you think I give good advice from time to time, sign up on bloglines or add me to your daily round of websites you hit before getting down to work. And if you think I always give sound advice, then you are my new best friend and you should write me a fan letter and let me know so we can begin our life-long relationship of mutual admiration.

Every good pilot has her wingpeople and I am smart enough not to fly solo. Not only does the entire reader population serve as back-up when doling out advice by providing their own opinion, I have people that I turn to when tackling questions outside my ken.

Meet Josh

Josh is my resident male point-of-view. I turn to him for all questions regarding why men do what they do. I then berate him when he answers and ask him why men are so stupid and why can't they be more like women. I also rack his brain when I'm done racking my own for the best art, literature, film, and theater references to better elucidate my advice for your problem. He reads a lot of books and when he's not reading books, he is watching a lot of films. Therefore, he is the perfect brain to rack. Plus, I have easy access to him because he lives in my house. The Microsoft Paint version of Josh doesn't really do him justice. He's actually very cute with cool little glasses and a goatee. Plus, he's really really smart.

Meet Perspicacious Babe

Perspicacity: n. 1. Acuteness of perception or understanding.

Perspicacious Babe is my go-to person for questions of a bioethical nature. Having anxiety about starting IVF because you don't know what to do with those hypothetical excess embryos? Not sure whether you want to be a kidney donor for your abusive sister? Those sorts of questions are sussed out with the Perspicacious Babe. Those situations that you can't wrap your mind around? That's what the Perspicacious Babe loves to study. Plus, she's brilliant and she's a babe--the name says it all.

And when you get really really really far outside my ken, I turn to a wide-range of real world people who actually have some type of knowledge in that area to help me formulate my answer.

But, as always, the ever present warning label: this advice comes from a regular person just like yourself and should not replace the directions of doctors, therapists, or those who know you best.

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